Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
