Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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