yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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