I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
