i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
