dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He passed out mid-signature
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
