Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
