I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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