Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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