i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Just took my morning after pill in the library
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
