Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I need moral support for this bender
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
