Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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