I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize