Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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