It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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