Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize
