Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
