it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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