I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
