i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
