dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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