Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize