Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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