community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Operation Purity has been aborted
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
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