Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
