you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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