By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
It's rum buckets o'clock
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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