Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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