I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
