I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
