did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
