I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Is Oprah even human
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Randomize
