similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
