I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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