We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
