next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
