I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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