Just mADE A PArabola og urine
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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