WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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