you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
