Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
