I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
