So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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