"it" just moved
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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