I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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