just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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