Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
