it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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