I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
