oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
