Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
