woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
My bed is full of blood and feathers
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
