it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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