eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
