I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
