Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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