you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
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