my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
