Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
